Single Parents in the Catholic Church Should Be Accompanied to Embrace Sacraments: Kenyan Canonist

The Kenyan Catholic Canonist also proposed advocacy, saying that the Church should be present “to speak for the single parent.”

He explained the plight of such parents, saying, “Nothing is off limits in divorce courts, and dirty laundry is aired in public. Single parents face this alone and may need help speaking clearly in conferences or when confronted by gossip.”

Fr. Maingi said that with all the stigma, single parents can easily succumb to emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion which can in turn put them and their children at risk. “Simply having help talking over paperwork makes a world of difference,” he said.

The Church should also encourage the single parents to participate fully in ecclesiastical and devotional groups within the church, the Kenyan Priest said, and added that such groups will help them to heal from their traumas.

“Single parents need help but struggle to ask for it. Self-esteem for many of them has been shaken, and they survive minute by minute. They are not sure how to delegate or who to turn to. When single parents don’t get the needed help, children lose,” he said, and added, “The church needs to be there for them.”

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Fr. Maingi underlined the need to listen to single parents, and explained “Having someone to listen quietly is as important as having someone speak for you.”

The Kenyan Canonist urged those who listen to single parents to foster trust and confidentiality, emphasizing the need to “hold whatever is said as if you are in the confessional.”

He explained, “Let the divorced person cry, scream and vent to purge pain privately. Don’t judge, but be strong enough to listen sympathetically, sensing when to step in and make gentle corrections or firmly push towards a positive direction.”

In the event of trying to handle a newly divorced single parent, Fr. Maingi underlined the need for the Church to “offer a way out”, noting, “When life falls apart, many will encourage the griever to get onto the playing field again.”

“Even if dating is not pushed, the divorced are pressured to socialize to forget or numb the pain. Sometimes socializing is welcomed. Sometimes it is intimidating,” the Kenyan Priest said.

Fr. Maingi also urged the Church to empower single parents as well as their children through workshops and seminars to allow them not only to grow in faith and but also be able to know their rights and obligations.

The Kenyan Priest challenged family life offices and other relevant platforms to design relevant programs for those who may need counselling and mentorship programs.

The Church should also pray for single parents to lead a good life and persevere in their situation with integrity, he said, further urging the Church to be a role model for single parents and their children.

“The mission of the Church requires the entire People of God to be on a journey together, with each member playing his or her crucial role, united with each other,” he said.

He said in reference to the Synod on Synodality, “A synodal Church walks forward in communion to pursue a common mission through the participation of each and every one of her members.” 

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Silas Mwale Isenjia is a Kenyan journalist with a great zeal and interest for Catholic Church related communication. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Linguistics, Media and Communication from Moi University in Kenya. Silas has vast experience in the Media production industry. He currently works as a Journalist for ACI Africa.