Catholic Bishop in Kenya Concerned about “unstable” Marriages, Urges “love from the heart”

Acknowledging the reality of challenges in human relationships, including conflicts among couples and disunity in families, the Kenyan Catholic Bishop advocated for the virtues of patience, perseverance, and sacrifice, and emphasized the unity and indissolubility of marriage.

“Persist in marriage and stop simple excuses to end marriages,” Bishop Mwongela said, and added, "If you say I love you and get married, it means you have abandoned all the others. You decided to love each other in good times and in bad times.”

“Marriages should last forever. You were not married to be divorced,” he said, adding, “Don't be afraid of your cross; it is yours, it is possible, and if you endure those hardships in marriage, they will come to an end.”

“Let us not ruin our marriages; let us not ruin our families,” the Kenyan Catholic Bishop emphasized, and implored, “Let us pray to God to grant us strength to bear the cross.”

Kenya’s Standard Newspaper used cases from the East African country’s Milimani Courts to report about “a gradual increase in divorce cases between 2001 and 2014”.

"In 2001, a total of 101 divorce cases were filed at Milimani Courts. The number rose to 115 in 2002 and then 206 cases in 2003. The following years 2004, 2005, 2007 and 2008 recorded 296, 295, 357 and 369 cases respectively. Between 2010 and 2015, a total of 1,246 cases have been filed," The Standard reported.

More recently, in a February 2021 Facebook post, Blackstar Media, Kenya reported that in Kenya, “marriage has over the years lost its meaning and it has turned out to be a very shaky union that no longer holds its former glory. This has changed from what marriage institutions were 30 years ago.”

Attributing the “alarming” situation to “some changes in family law”, particularly “the abolishment of the mandatory minimum period of family life which was three years”, the publication sited the successive increase in divorce petitions since 2017.

“In 2017, 909 petitions on divorce were filed for divorce, in 2018, 1009 petitions were also made. In 2019 the cases rose to 1108 and in 2020 due to the changes in the law, 1300-1500 cases were filed. Every month on average about 95% of couples file for divorce,” the 12 February 2021 indicates.

In his February 3 homily during the National Prayer Day of CWA Kenya, Bishop Mwongela weighed in on gender-based violence (GBV) in general and femicide in particular.

“If a girl, maybe one who is the same age as your daughter, is going out with your husband, instead of beating her, start praying for her to find a good husband, one who is better than yours so she can get married,” Bishop Mwongela said, adding, “Let us learn to love, love from our hearts and even love our enemies.” 

He continued, “I don't want girls to be beaten; I don't want them to be humiliated. We need to be contented with what we have. But all the same we want to condemn femicide with the strongest words possible; our women must be respected.” 

Hinting to the negative effects of conflicts between parents on their children, Bishop Mwongela urged parents to cultivate and foster the spirit of togetherness in their respective families. 

“Love your children and teach them to love each other and let them unite you as parents because they are a bond between the two of you. If you start separating, you start disturbing the children; so, hold on to the marriage,” he said, adding, “You got married to have children; bring them up together, and walk together.”

The Catholic Church leader who has been at the helm of Kitui Diocese since his Episcopal Consecration in August 2020 urged CWA members in Kenya to “stand strong in faith” and support the marriage and family institutions through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

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“Let us show the rest that we are capable as women to help keep families united because we are not alone; we have the support of Mother Mary and Jesus loves us,” he said, and added.

“May Christ look at what is in our marriages and remove what is destructive,” he implored.

The Catholic Bishop prayed for couples, saying, “May the love that you had at the beginning of your marriages continue and grow.”

“With prayers everything is possible,” Bishop Mwongela said during his February 3 homily at the Village of Mary, Subukia National Marian Shrine of KCCB. 

Nicholas Waigwa contributed to the writing of this story.