St. Augustine Group in Nigerian Diocese Accompanying Catholics in Polygamous Situations to Conversion

“The entire family agreed that the father would be married in the Church as he wanted, but then they were ready to cater for all their mothers, so that their mothers would not go into any adulterous relationship with anybody, and their father would not have any bad relationship with any of the women again,” he recalled during the August 2 interview.

Bishop Apochi added, “Until this man died, he and his former wives lived apart in different places, but the wives he left were all catered for. They were all provided for from the central fund the family had created, and they did it very well based on the understanding of their love for Christ, and how Christ has compassion for every member of the society.”

Credit: ACI Africa

The Nigerian Catholic Bishop spoke to ACI Africa shortly after presenting the success story of St. Augustine Pious Group in an intervention to delegates of the 20th Plenary Assembly of the Symposium of Episcopal Conference of Africa and Madagascar (SECAM) held in Rwanda’s capital city, Kigali.

At the July 30 - August 4 Plenary Assembly, Africa’s Catholic Bishops approved six pastoral proposals in response to the mandate that the multi-year Synod on Synodality gave them to “to promote theological and pastoral discernment on the issue of polygamy” on the continent.

In the interview with ACI Africa, the Local Ordinary of Otukpo Diocese since his Episcopal Consecration in February 2003 said that Nelson’s conversion is not an isolated success story in the pious association that has been journeying with Catholics in polygamous situations for over three decades.

Bishop Michael Ekwoy Apochi of Otukpo Diocese in Nigeria. ACI Africa

The association, he said, targets people in polygamous situations, who are interested in following Christ as Catholics.

Bishop Apochi noted that many Catholics in polygamous situations are usually very active members of the Church; the irregular relationship is the only thing that stands in the way for them.

“We took our time to listen to people in polygamous marriages, and to find out exactly what they wanted, and we found out that they are seeking and desiring to follow Christ. Therefore, we offer our willingness as a Church, following the compassion of Christ, to accompany these people who have so identified with the Church, to bring them closer to Christ.” 

Credit: ACI Africa

The aim, he said, “is to bring them to a point of total conversion of life to Christ.”

People in polygamous situations, Bishop Apochi went on to say, “have many good qualities that are compatible with the ways of Christ. The only difficulty and situation they have is that in their married life; the men are married to many women, and the women are married to a man who has a first wife.”

People in such situations, he noted, have not totally embraced the message of Christ. “Our target therefore is to help them to reach a point where they can bring their marital life to total encounter with Christ who will in turn inform their lives,” he said.

Bishop Michael Ekwoy Apochi of Otukpo Diocese in Nigeria. ACI Africa

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Members of St. Augustine Pious Association meet regularly for formation and embark on the journey to transform their lives. “We encourage them to apply what they know about Christ to their married life,” Bishop Apochi said. 

He added, “Apart from the fact that we are aiming at bringing them to total conversion of married life to Christ, we are also helping them to use the message of Christ in all his riches to rule and guide their families, because it's a family of many people.”

“Members of a family of a man and many wives need to live in love, and they need to allow Christ to be a centre of their relations in the family,” the Bishop of Otukpo said, and added, “When we get children from this type of families, we bring them to different instructional classes and train them to be Christians.”

Credit: SECAM

He said that bringing children on board this program ensures that their parents in a polygamous set-up receive all the support they need to embrace conversion.

The name St. Augustine, Bishop Apochi said, was inspired by the life of St. Monica who prayed continuously and “in tears” for his son, Augustine, to realize conversion.

“Just as St. Monica did for Augustine, we as a Church are accompanying this set of people, and we hope that with the intercession of the prayer of St. Augustine, they will reach a stage where they will say ‘yes’ to Christ,” the Nigerian Bishop turning 65 on August 6, the Feast of the Transfiguration, said.

Bishop Michael Ekwoy Apochi of Otukpo Diocese in Nigeria. ACI Africa

In the interview with ACI Africa, Bishop Apochi distinguished between two types of polygamous families he said he had observed in the Nigerian context, a primary polygamous situation and a secondary one.

He provided an elaborate description of the primary polygamous family, which he said is the focus of the St. Augustine group.

These are the people that he said the Church goes out to evangelize, meaning that they are usually in polygamous situations before becoming members of the Church.

Credit: ACI Africa

“The secondary polygamous situation is the case of people who are already Christians, baptized in the Church, have one wife, and later, for some reason, they backslide in faith, and they get a second wife,” Bishop Apochi said, adding that some young women baptized also settle for married men.

The Nigerian Catholic Church leader said that he finds it easier journeying with people in primary polygamous situations than those in the secondary ones.

“It is really difficult for people in secondary polygamous unions to even join the association of St. Augustine because they already are Catholics who backslid…but we keep talking to people in the Church to discourage polygamy among members,” he said.

Bishop Michael Ekwoy Apochi of Otukpo Diocese in Nigeria. ACI Africa

Understanding the need of exploring all options to bring every segment of the church closer to Christ, including those in polygamous situations, Bishop Apochi said, “Many of our parents have roots in polygamous families. But they have immensely contributed to the Church by giving some of us to become what we are now.”

“We need to pay attention to … people who have these difficulties and are not able to come to meet Christ fully because of their marriage situation,” he said.

The Catholic Bishop acknowledged the many places in Africa that are providing pastoral accompaniment to people in polygamous situations and advocated for sharing of pastoral approaches that are being tried out. 

Sr. Esther Lucas Jose Maria and Archbishop Andrew Nkea Fuanya. Credit: ACI Africa

“The encouragement I have is that let us all come out, articulate what we are doing in different places, and put all these things together… We can then come up with something more standard,” he said.

Bishop Apochi appealed for spiritual solidarity with people in polygamous situations. “Let us continue to pray for them and let us continue to take practical steps as we are accompanying them, so that they, as children of God, will also experience Christ.”

Fr. Rafael Simbine Junior. Credit: ACI Africa

In the document titled, “Accompaniment of Persons in Polygamous Situations”, which SECAM members approved during their 20th Plenary Assembly, six pastoral proposals are outlined. 

These include welcoming persons in polygamous situations into the Church, making them feel part of the Church, taking initiatives that target widows, emphasizing conversion as the primary goal, shifting from the narrow meaning of fecundity as biological parentage to charity, and the family apostolate characterized by catechesis on Church and Sacraments.